JOBS I'M GRATEFUL FOR BUT COULD NEVER DO

Jobs I find honorable but I'd probably be fired from less than a day in for either insubordination or low performance quality.
  1. Lyrics uploader
    Without whom I would never know that Ariana sings "like a deadly fear I am, babe" and not "like a deli feelin' babe" in Break Free. It's a service I use frequently but can't imagine doing myself.
  2. Tollbooth worker
    The pollution they're inhaling…I worry about them. (And myself, potentially, were I to do it.)
  3. Forever 21 employee
    That place is so.loud. I love a cheap blazer but not at the expense of your precious hearing!
  4. Garbage collector
    I've considered making our garbage crew cookies as a show of gratitude but worry they'll think they're part of the garbage and throw them away. Or run over them. The driver I saw today was nearly asleep at the wheel, he looked so bored.
  5. Boom operator
    My arms tire easily. That mic would be in every shot.
  6. Shopping cart collector
    Too many people leave them scattered all over the parking lot. I'd lose my faith in humanity completely.
  7. Investigative reporter
    I love getting details about current events but am not aggressive enough to pester and ask the tough questions myself. All it would take is for one corrupt CEO or politician to say "Go away," and I would say "Okey dokey."
  8. Celebrity interviewer
    Again with the hard-hitting questions. Let's just be friends instead.
  9. School bus driver
    Oh, no. 🙅🏾