TO CINNAMON, THE DOG NEXT DOOR

The letter I won't send.
  1. Dear Cinnamon,
  2. I haven't seen you for a while but I'm sure you're still very cute.
  3. That said, I need to tell you,
  4. You need to put a sock in it.
  5. You bark from the moment you step outside until the moment you are called inside again.
  6. Is there an allergen in the air that triggers your barker?
  7. Help me understand.
  8. No?
  9. A squirrel maybe?
  10. No, there are no trees in your yard.
  11. Cinnamon, let me reassure you, there is no one on the other side of that fence that warrants consistent barking.
  12. Many of my family members own small dogs though, so I know all about barking.
  13. I understand the little dog psyche and your desperate need to bark.
  14. However, while doing my best to sympathize, I'm hard pressed to find the reason why you insist on carrying on as you do.
  15. Not to brag but my big dog only barks when there is an actual threat--ok fine, a perceived threat--and do you know how often that is?
  16. Not. Even. Daily.
  17. Here's mainly why I bring it up:
  18. Your mommy lets you out at all the times of day when I need peace--early in the morning, in the afternoon when my little angel is napping, when I am trying to nap.
  19. Do you know how rare naps are for me?
  20. Ok, not that rare.
  21. If you were quieter during that time I would be much more likely to just let it go but--
  22. Oh wait, there you go again.
  23. Dear, sweet, Cinnamon, shut yer yapper!
  24. Affectionately,
  25. You sleep-lovin' neighbor