IMPOSSIBLE THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

  1. 1.
    Barbra Streisand b*tch slapping Celine Dion in the face
  2. 2.
    Immortality for my mother
  3. 3.
    White people letting bacon novelty gifts die
  4. 4.
    Freeing a baby elephant from captivity and reuniting it with its mother in the wild
  5. 5.
    Conceiving a child with Harry Styles
  6. 6.
    Having naturally pale pink hair
  7. 7.
    Knowing the true identity of Jack the Ripper
  8. 8.
    Gender Equality