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When your best friend's favorite hobby is fucking with you..
  1. Forgot that she told a lie about our other best friend having a freaky foot fetish in HS..remembered and told me a few years later that it was a lie.
  2. Told me that our friend was bringing a blind girl named "Helen" to a bar to meet us..she was not blind.
  3. Sent me a picture she found on Facebook of somebody holding their shit pretending it was hers..
  4. Hit me in the head with a giant black dildo that she ordered off of Amazon. Aka "colossus"
"Bitch doesn't even know who genuine is"
  1. BAD SHOES.
    Bad shoes on guys in general are a turn off, but especially guys that were jeans that are too big with old new balance sneakers #yuck
  2. Texting during a first date
    Am I really that boring?
  3. No sense of humor
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  1. 1.
    The Lion King
    My all-time favorite Disney movie. Yes I still have my Nala stuffed animal (Nala is also the name of my future frenchie). I also had every other Lion King children's toy there was. The music, the message, the beauty..cmon it's everyone's favorite.
  2. 2.
    Beauty & The Beast
    This would be the all-time favorite "princess movie". I thought I was Belle & we have the same hair & love to read, so twins right? I wish my house could come alive & sing with me while I make dinner. I also have a tendency to attract horrible men like Gaston.
  3. 3.
    Inside Out
    I was excited for this movie for about a year after I saw the tailor and the movie lived up to all of my expectations. What a fabulous way to explain emotions to kids. I use the characters and the many created kids tools from the movie in my therapy sessions with kids. These characters are great working with kids and families in the mental health setting! Also the all star comedic cast: A+ Pixar.
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Non judgements on the last one please..these were dark times.
  1. #3 The Fraternity Pledge
    This was my first hook up in college after breaking up with my HS boyfriend. I was president of my sorority and brought him back to the house and slept with him on the basement couch..then kicked him out after embarrassment and realizing he was a 17 year old pledge.
  2. #2 My best friend's fiancé's friend
    This was post-college and I am in grad school and bored out of my mind hook up. After what I thought would be the most awkward sex of my life, he walked me back to the best friend's fiancé house where he lifted me into the 2nd story window so we could get away from each other. It was Halloween and I slept in my flapper costume on a leather love seat with 2 other girls I didn't know in the room. Also broke a Tupperware bin diving through the window to get away.
  3. #3 The guy from HS
    This was the HS person you run into d-town after college. There are so many unbelievable things that this guy said..like cringe worthy. The last time we hooked up (when I realized I need to reevaluate my life) he was talking about popping pimples and calling them "white cheese and black cheese pimples". Then told me he had an infection in his belly button and that it smelt like cheese..he then proceeded to stick his finger in his belly button and infront of my face.
Weekends in Burly post-college are usually a whirlwind, obviously this list consists of mostly food and drink establishments..
  1. Magnolia's Bistro
    The best breakfast/brunch place in Burlington. Do it, you won't regret it.
  2. Red Onion Cafe
    Red.onion.sandwich.
  3. UVM hockey games
    Spiked coffee, drunken college kids..boy do I miss it.
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