ALL OF MY SPRING ALLERGIES
Allergy season is in full swing here in Houston. So here's a list of the things that are simply too much for my immune system to handle right now.
- •Waist trainersY'all. This is a glorified corset. It is practically a torture device. I need a Zyrtec.
- •Self-aware tote bagsOh look! How cute! It's like the bag is a sentient being! Vomit. Alavert STAT.
- •Car eyelashesWhat about rain? And hail? And snow? Why? Claritin please.
- •Overfilling the KeurigThere is no excuse for this garbage behavior. I could use a Benadryl now.
- •The phrase "it really could go either way."This is a Teflon phrase. You might as well not say anything at all because this group of words is utterly useless. Anyone have an Allegra?
- •Family crestsProbably used by the same people who use the term 'betrothed' un-ironically. Kleenex, please.
- •MOTHER FUCKING POLLENAll of the drugs now, please.