FORMULAS FOR DETERMINING YOUR STRIPPER NAME, RANKED

After taking multiple online quizzes to determine my ideal stripper name (and being supremely underwhelmed by the results), I've created a few formulas to yield more favorable outputs.
  1. 1.
    alcoholic beverage of choice + least favorite national holiday
    Whiskey Valentine
  2. 2.
    macaron flavor preference + animal of which you are most irrationally afraid
    Lavender Fox
  3. 3.
    most effortlessly fashionable Disney princess + preferred time of day to read the newspaper
    Esmeralda Dawn
  4. 4.
    least expensive type of apples at the market+ bedroom wall color
    Ambrosia Dove
  5. 5.
    favorite thing to spread on toast + second favorite thing to spread on toast
    Honey Margarine
  6. 6.
    pop tart flavor preference + meat selection at chipotle
    Strawberry Barbacoa
  7. 7.
    least terrible song by The Kinks + worst month to have a picnic in Arizona
    Lola June