I Wouldn't Buy That Even If It Were Free!

Boston-Area Craigslist edition
  1. "Large size condoms"
    Magnums. They're called magnums.
  2. "Handmade bible stand"
    What would your mother say if she knew about this?
  3. "FREE empty DVD cases"
    Oh thank god. I was wondering where I'd be able to find those.
  4. "Free cat food - Fancy Feast (wet)"
    I prefer Fancy Feast (dry), but thanks for the offer.
  5. "Free chick/chicken shopping boxes"
    For all your chicken shipping needs.
  6. "Two decorative flasks from Siberia"
    As Selina Meyer would say, "that's like using a croissant as a fucking dildo. It doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking mess."
  7. "Box of coarse bubble wrap"
    Kinky
  8. "Trashy romance novels"
    No additional info provided; use your imagination.
  9. "No back sofa"
    'Sofa' seems a little ambitious, don't ya think?
  10. "Free boulders"
    JACKPOT
  11. "Leather couch for man cave or playroom"
    Gotta love the cognitive dissonance
  12. "500 egg trays"
    On today's episode of Hoarders...