a few things about which I am completely *neutral*
  1. The concept of brunch
    Static
    Finger sandwiches can burn in a dumpster fire, but omelette bars give me life
  2. Lost
    Static
    Beautiful, tortured, garbage humans on a beautiful, tortured, garbage island
  3. Summer Olympics
    Static
    Subjectively inferior to the Winter Olympics, but still objectively badass
  4. One Direction
    Static
    These are young men with pomade in their hair who also happen to sing
  5. Bloody Marys
    Static
    It's vodka, yes, but it's also tomato juice soooooo
  6. Kids with iPads
    Static
    This is humanity now
  7. Sandwiches
    Static
    Bread has the potential to be both the savior and the downfall of this meat-and-cheese-delivery-vehicle
  8. Turtlenecks
    Static
    This is a shirt that makes you look like a warm turtle. Is that cool or bizarre? Unsure.
  9. Cruises
    Static
    Only as great as the people with whom you are cruising
  10. Hummus
    Static
    A food into which I can dunk carrots. Okay.
  11. Diet Coke
    Static
    This is but a drink at the heart of much nutritional controversy
  12. Birkenstocks
    Static
    Overpriced, comfortable footwear that somehow manages to seem worth the $$