NATIONAL HOLIDAYS THAT MY BODY AND SOUL ARE READY FOR

It seems that there's a day commemorating just about everything. Here are some things that I appreciate with such a deep love that it's damn time to create a day in their honor.
  1. LUSH Bath Bomb Day
    January 17th. Bath bombs would be complimentary and everyone would get to soak in a sparkly, yummy, delicious baths for hours. People would get the day off work. Everyone would be happy.
  2. INBOX ZERO DAY
    Every year on February 7th, the good people of the world would confiscate other people's phones and clear their inboxes for them. The world would be perfectly organized on this day, and the nation would join in a sigh of ecstatic relief.
  3. Southwest Honey Roasted Peanuts Day
    Holy hell, these peanuts are good. They just taste better in a shiny little Southwest bag, and March 15th would be the day for your local CVS to pair up with Southwest Airlines and bring these gems to you for free.
  4. Take a Train to Work Day
    Would occur on April 12th as all the bushes and trees are flowering. People would get to leisurely commute to work by train while witnessing the beauty of spring out the window. It would be glorious.
  5. Pressed Flowers Day
    On May 6th, Independent bookstores around the country would bring you limited edition copies of your favorite novels printed on pressed flower paper. I can't think of anything much better than this.
  6. Cute Pool Float Day
    June 30th. Everyone would throw pool parties in which adorable animal and food-themed pool floats would adorn the water. How could you not love this day?
  7. Rollerblade to the Park Day
    On July 18th, everyone would joyfully rollerblade to their local park. These parks would be full of 90s R&B music and neon and it would be so tacky and wonderful that it'd be perfect.
  8. National Mixtape Day
    On August 11th, friends, coworkers, family members, and loved ones would make each other mixtapes. People would discover new music and grow closer to those they already know. Just thinking about this day makes me grin.
  9. Diner Appreciation Day
    The only thing better than greasy diner food is the diner atmosphere itself. Rollerblades, poodle skirts--it's extraordinary. September 4th would be the perfect day to celebrate diners and blue plate specials!
  10. Oversized Soft Pretzel Day
    Would be honored on October 14 with large open-air markets serving nothing but delicious soft pretzels. You'd have the option to choose your own toppings. It would be epic.
  11. Trader Joe's Wine Day
    November 11th would be a day filled with wine and cheese parties, courtesy of the greatest cheap wine to have ever existed. In truth, I celebrate this day already, but it's deserving of national recognition in my opinion.
  12. Dogs-in-Sweaters Day
    Imagine how cute December 22nd would be. Every dog owner would bundle their sweet peas up and take 'em to the dog park! I strongly support this day.