I guess it's kind of a Listroduction?
  1. My great grandma created the Kitchenaid mixer.
  2. In first grade I went on Oprah as part of a "America's Cutest Kids" show.
  3. My sister named me.
  4. I can recite up to 200 numbers of Pi.
  5. I once met Josh Groban, and he told me I had nice hands.
  6. I've never eaten McDonalds.
  7. I hate the word arugula, but don't mind the food.
  8. I broke the world record for holding my breath under water when I was 17.
  9. I can run really, really fast.
  10. I'm kind of broken inside. Not emotionally, just my bones.
  11. I love purple.
  12. I've killed several small animals.
  13. I think Tom Hanks knows what he did, but will never admit it to himself.
  14. You know the ETrade commercials with the talking baby? I'm the baby.
  15. I can't speak English, I just use an Internet translation.
  16. This is me
  17. I love soft pretzels.
  18. The movie Clue was based off my life.
  19. Remember when everyone was afraid of Y2K? I wasn't, because I started the rumor of it.
  20. I'm a scientologist.
  21. Josh Groban also said my hair is pretty, but not to let that stop me from following my dreams.
  22. I believe in ghosts. But only the kind that are basically white sheets.
  23. In the morning I just drink straight up half and half.
  24. I can only run if I'm running backwards... Really fast.
  25. I've won so many poker games.
  26. Remember Blue from Blue's Clues? Me too.
  27. I've never seen Friends.
  28. I can eat quite a few pies in one sitting.
  29. I don't think we went to the moon, I think the moon came to us and we just kind of hopped onto it momentarily.
  30. I voted for FDR.
  31. My mom says I'm pretty, but I think she's lying. I think she thinks I'm beautiful, not pretty.
  32. I invented Crystal Light. Well, just the pink lemonade flavor.
  33. The movie Honey was based off my life.
  34. I can feel earthquakes before they happen, like an animal.
  35. I'm an old timey news reporter.
  36. My brother's name is Beetlejuice.
  37. I grew up in Fraggle Rock.
  38. My name was supposed to be Patty Mayonnaise.
  39. I came up with the story of Monster's Inc.
  40. I've personally shaken the hand of every one of my list followers.
  41. The movie The Great Mouse Detective was based off my life.
  42. I was supposed to play Pam on The Office but Josh Groban said I had a higher purpose in life.
  43. I'm a civil war ghost.
  44. My cat, Bianca, exclusively walks on her hind legs.
  45. I accidentally broke the Liberty Bell.
  46. I wrote The Davinci Code.
  47. I used to be 5'11" but then I drank some sort of acid and shrunk a foot.
  48. Lake Bell and I used to be best friends.
  49. I caused the E coli outbreak at Chipotle.
  50. The movie Looper is based off my life.