I WILL NOT

  1. Cut in front of you in line.
  2. Refuse to listen to your dreams, literal or otherwise.
  3. Allow your dog to lick me for five minutes straight.
  4. Ignore a baby waving at me.
  5. Pat you on the back for being a male feminist.
  6. Let children bully one another in front of me.
  7. Allow a lost child to continue to be lost.
  8. Let you speak disrespectfully to me, or anyone around me.
  9. Smile while you mansplain.
  10. Refuse to stick up for those who cannot or are too afraid to stick up for themselves.
  11. Eat star of anise.
  12. Pretend I don't have white privilege.
  13. Take a spin class with you.
  14. Pretend I'm not snarky.
  15. Let you use gay as a pejorative.
  16. Give you less than a 20% tip.
  17. Ignore your plea for help.
  18. Ignore your adorable face, clothes, sneeze, hands, hair, smile, eyes etc.
  19. Listen to One Direction.