LISTS MY FAMILY WOULD MAKE ABOUT ME

Context: I have a sister who is 5 years older than I am, and a brother who is 2 years younger. My parents are still married. Inspired by @tatertotfreak
  1. WE SWEAR THIS BLONDE HAIRED BLUE EYED CHILD IS OURS, A STORY OF HER CONCEPTION
  2. WHAT WE THINK SOCIAL WORK IS
  3. TIMES WE HAVE CALLED AT 3AM
  4. EMILY IS DUMB, HERE IS WHY
  5. JOKES IVE STOLEN FROM MY SISTER
    I say jokes under my breath, my sister yells them and gets credit... ITS SO FUN
  6. REASONS WHY EMILY IS THE GOLDEN CHILD
    Their words, not mine
  7. TIMES WE LEFT EMILY AT HOME ON ACCIDENT
    I can think of 5 times before I was 10
  8. MY FAVORITE DAUGHTER WHO I TREAT LIKE A SON
    By my dad
  9. LIES WE TELL EMILY BECAUSE ITS A RUNNING JOKE EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS WE ARE LYING
  10. COUSIN DONNA'S FARM: A MOVIE EMILY THOUGHT OF AND WE WANT PART OF
  11. TINCTURES IVE MADE FOR EMILY
    My sweet brother is an herbalist
  12. CRYSTALS IVE GIVEN EMILY
    And does reiki healing
  13. TATTOOS WE HAVE IN COMMON BUT THAT EMILY IS TOO CHICKEN TO GET
    My entire family minus my mom