MY NAME MADE UP OF SENTENCES I WOULD NEVER SAY

This is the best. Thanks @dustinboone and @ChristaBullock
  1. Excuse me, how do I make my text font comic sans?
  2. My goodness, that Ben Carson sure knows what he's talking about!
  3. I don't think I'll eat ANY bread at The Cheesecake Factory tonight.
  4. Lebron James was pretty bad in Trainwreck.
  5. Yes, I AM very involved with the NRA!
  6. Leave me alone, I'm watching CSI!
  7. Oh shit, I didn't realize how expensive this acai bowl was!
  8. See, because Obama is president, there's no more racism!
  9. Ehhhh, I don't really feel like watching TV.
  10. Yikes, gotta get more of that gluten free pasta at Whole Foods.