THE BERNARD PIVOT QUESTIONNAIRE (INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO)

Inspired by @Fitz, I thought I had lost my chance but then @combatdavey got the ball got rolling again!
  1. What is your favorite word?
    Crisp
  2. What is your least favorite word?
    Fungus
  3. What turns you on?
    Sense of humor, the ability to talk about important shit, self awareness, intelligence, people who "get it", nice hands, good hearts.
  4. What turns you off?
    Unaware of own privilege, people who are shitty to servers or bartenders, regularly speaks poorly of exes, condescending, apathetic to the suffering of others.
  5. Favorite curse word?
    Fuck. It can be used in so many ways and just sounds so crisp (crisp!).
  6. What sound or noise do you love?
    When the windshield wipers wipe away rain, belly laughs, crunchy leaves, the sound of being underwater in the ocean.
  7. What sound do you hate?
    People chewing with their mouths open, loud shrieking screams, gross sounds that kids make (they're always making gross sounds, I love kids but they're so gross sometimes).
  8. What profession (other than your own) would you like to attempt?
    Comedian
  9. Why profession would you not want to do?
    The President of the US
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    You know that I could see you whenever you winked at your dog, right? It's alright, here, the ice cream here doesn't give you brain freezes, it gets you drunk.