What I Really Mean When I Say I Am Doing My Reading for Class

I am very delusional, but happily so.
  1. I will spend about ten minutes getting myself "situated" which is what I like to call spending an inordinate amount of time organizing my belongings and choosing a playlist
  2. Get out my book and look at the back cover
  3. "Okay this doesn't look too bad" or "uh oh this looks very bad"
  4. Depending on initial reaction, I will spend another five to ten minutes choosing another song/getting a drink/finding food/looking out a window
  5. Get comfortable. Time to crack down!
  6. Jk. This never works. There is no comfortable position which I will discover after another ten minutes of stretching, crossing my legs, switching seats etc.
  7. Open book. So far so good. The book is open which means I've started, and starting is half the battle right? I've already done more than I expected. Go Emily!
  8. Read first paragraph. Seems okay so far. Flick through rest of book and become disheartened due to extreme length and density of said book. Close book.
  9. Look out window again. What's that guy doing by that car? He's just unlocking his door. Why does my mind automatically jump to suspicion? Am I a naturally suspicious person? Is it bad or good to be suspicious?
  10. Check phone. Realize another five minutes has passed. Oops.
  11. Start book again. Get into it. Until I realize I don't know what's going on. Become disheartened again. Realize being disheartened is becoming a steady state of mind. Become disheartened about becoming disheartened.
  12. Disheartened has stopped looking like a real word.
  13. It's time to go home! Pat myself on the back for a good effort. Reading is hard. I'll check Sparknotes later anyway.