A Woman's Train of Thought When She Is Late

It's irrational, but we've all been there...
  1. Oh shit. I'm a day late. I'm definitely pregnant.
  2. But I've been really stressed out lately, right? That has to be why.
  3. Fuck. I'm definitely pregnant.
  4. But I have a new coworker so we're probably just syncing up.
  5. Damn. I'm fucking pregnant.
  6. I know it's after Labor Day, but if I wear a pair of white pants today, it's definitely gonna come.
  7. HOW DID THAT NOT WORK????? FML THERE'S NO WAY I'M NOT PREGNANT.
  8. I swear I'm gonna kill this man for doing this to me. I know it takes two but I'm allowed to be totally irrational right now because the fucker got me pregnant!
  9. Wakes up in the middle of the night....
  10. Next day: ugh. I wouldn't have to deal with this shit if I were pregnant.