MY SUPERPOWERS

I have two.
  1. I can untie any knot.
    Necklaces. Wet rope. Shoelaces. Kite strings. Bring it motherfuckers.
  2. I look good in all sunglasses.
    This is not bragging because it is true. Please know I look average at best and usually pretty bad in everything else. So this is a karmic gimme from the otherwise cruel fashion gods.