THINGS MY CO-SHOWRUNNER JOHN HATES

  1. People standing behind him
  2. Group dinners
  3. Old people rapping
  4. Anyone touching his food
  5. Anyone sharing his drink, even his wife
  6. People who are mean to dogs
  7. That white crusty stuff around the spout of milk cartons
  8. Domestic first class
  9. Bad drivers/drivers who make lefts too slow
  10. People who have not watched Fargo on F/X
  11. When he sneezes three or four times in a row and someone says "bless you" for every sneeeze
  12. When people walk too slow or walk near him
  13. When a waiter comes to the table with all the food and says "who had the salmon?" and no one says anything
  14. Lenny's iced mochas that he drinks all day
  15. When someone holds a door open when he is still too far away and he has to do that skip thing
  16. Lingering after the bill has been paid
  17. People who are mean to waiters
  18. Meredith laughing
  19. Olivia Wilde's dubsmash or anyone who does a version of it