THINGS IVE DONE IN THE PAST TO SEEM "COOL" AND "IMPRESS A BOY"

  1. Painted my nails black and then bit off the polish to seem "edgy"
  2. MySpace photo shoots holding wine glass filled with martinellis
  3. Faked a pregnancy scare
  4. Said I had won an academy award. A boy then googled and said blatantly "you did not"
  5. Pretended to be a lesbian
  6. Pretended I liked olives
  7. Said I spoke Farsi
  8. Paid for a meal in "pesos" because I had "spent time abroad"
  9. Said I loved someone's cat when I'm the most allergic
  10. Bragged about my 2006 mustang. I said "I love to drive fast" and "v8s are my jam"
  11. Pretended I was born and raised in France
  12. Printed out business cards I made on clip art and then handed it to a "vine star manager"
  13. Took a Polaroid camera out to dinner because "I couldn't do digital"
  14. Owned a blackberry until 2013
  15. Lied about my age.
  16. Said I wanted to get lip injections
  17. Got extra pages put into my passport even though I didn't need them
  18. Drawn on a beauty mark
  19. Say I'm "half" when I'm not. The guy said which "half." I said "moms side"
  20. Said I was a "practicing Jew"
  21. Said "I just got over a parasite"