1. I pulled an eye booger out of my dog's eye and tried to feed it to him so I wouldn't have to go wash my hands.
    He wouldn't eat it. So I wiped it under the couch.
  2. While washing dishes, a petrified piece of parmesan cheese got stuck way up my fingernail and I had to get tweezers to pull it out.
    It still hurts.
  3. ETA: had to trim my dog's butt hair.