1. Bribes
  2. Sexual promiscuity
  3. Begging @bjnovak to notice me
  4. Hiring a hit man
    Or 2 if the first one doesn't work out
  5. Switching my major to creative writing to find "my inner voice"
  6. The magic words
    "please" and "thank you" is what got j.law an Oscar, right
  7. Sacrificing all my time, energy and revenue to become a better lister
    Lol who am I kidding its Girl Scout cookie season I'm gonna be broke and balls deep in thin mints this month