Costumes I Have Worn

  1. A TV. I pasted a giant picture of Ernest on the front of a cardboard box and drew buttons and dials on it. Then I wore it to school. Fourth grade was hard.
  2. Oscar the Grouch. This was not great. We went to a bonfire and the metal trash can got pretty hot pretty fast.
  3. Miss Piggy. Apparently I am just not one for sexy Halloween costumes.
  4. Roller Girl from boogie nights. The one time I tried a sexy costume (age 21) I almost picked a near fatal one. Thankfully at the party I went to two white guys went as the Williams sisters, so everyone was too busy being horrified by blackface to notice how I kept falling on my ass in the roller skates I borrowed from the skating rink.