Ways Voldemort is Actually More Likable than Trump

Both eccentric, racist, and hell-bent on acquiring power. I refuse to call him "President-Elect," as such a title implies he was legitimately elected. Will henceforth be referred to as "The Donald."
  1. Voldemort was orphaned after his parents' coerced marriage imploded. They were garbage people who created a vortex of love in his life that could never be filled.
    The Donald often speaks lovingly of dear old mom and dad. They afforded him every privilege and opportunity they could. I'm not saying you need a sad childhood to be sympathetic, but it could explain away at least SOME shortcomings.
  2. Voldemort had to work hard to accumulate his powers.
    He came from nothing to become one of the most feared Dark Wizards ever. Trump borrowed 14 million dollars from his dad when he was in his twenties.
  3. Voldemort's face and hair got all fucked up when he regenerated back into human form in Goblet of Fire.
    The Donald, meanwhile, has no excuse for his face or hair.
  4. Voldemort has one child.
    Trump has five from three different women, which is too much of his DNA out there in the human gene pool.
  5. Voldemort's friends are cooler.
    Say what you want about Bellatrix, but she is a bad bitch. Lucius Malfoy? Kinda lame but mostly cool (albino peacocks tip the scale). Fenrir Greyback? So cool. Steve Bannon is a Death Eater but he will never be cool.
  6. Voldemort went to Hogwarts.
    Anyone who's ever tried to have a conversation with someone from Wharton knows what I'm talking about.