A verbatim list
  1. "I actively didn't cuddle him... That much"
    On breaking the no boys 2K16 pact
  2. "Check yourself into every hospital until your doctor is single 2k16"
  3. "She's like hyperspace mountain, and I'm star tours"
    On dealing with emotions (@mandabee)
  4. "Look at this fat dog on a slide. I want my kids to look like this."
  5. "WAIT, are we both wearing Christmas socks??? Merry February"
  6. He held my hand so tight that it cut off my circulation, but I didn't know how to tell him, so I broke up with him.
  7. "My hair is wet" "oh? Did you wash it?" "No I was just crying"
  8. "I noticed the trend that I've been into small guys.... Guess I just like knowing I can take 'em"