AM I A GOOD PERSON?

am I the devil reincarnate? I sort of think I might be!
  1. I didn't fast on Yom Kippur
  2. I am perennially 45 mins late to my job
  3. I sometimes lie to my parents about money I've spent on Stella McCartney shoes
  4. I just texted an ex after I promised my shrink I wouldn't
  5. I like spotify
  6. I rarely call my grandma
  7. I don't do volunteer work
  8. I have an aversion to the concept of Astoria
  9. I constantly want people to lavish me in praise whenever I do anything, ranging from finishing a New Yorker article to riding the subway
  10. I have 30 unchecked voicemails
  11. I don't drink tap water
  12. I've never voted in an election
    BUT WILL BE VOTING IN THE NEXT ONE
  13. I couldn't finish "the goldfinch"
  14. I never watched "the wire" or "the sopranos"
  15. I don't follow a lot of people back on Instagram bc i don't want to be inundated with food pics and/or social anxiety
  16. I don't care about the pope
  17. I vehemently keep up with the Kardashians and GENUINELY believe them to be good people
  18. I have never once cooked in my apt nor do I know how to cook
  19. I am only motivated to workout via certain instructors at select premium fitness classes
  20. I lose things
  21. I don't have enough storage on my iPhone
  22. I sometimes look at art and have no emotions
  23. I basically only eat chicken
  24. I don't have a primary care physician
  25. I talk too much about my love of having a cocktail with a klonopin
  26. I'm afraid of bad odors
  27. I don't have a checkbook
  28. I feel like I'm never not gonna be young
  29. I don't understand who joe paterno is