CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE INTERESTS/ATTRIBUTES THAT TURN ME OFF

I guess I lied in my last list. DISCLAIMER: Let me emphasize that the following doesn't do it for me ROMANTICALLY. I have no issue with guys/people who are into this stuff in general.
  1. 1.
    Impeccable physique
    Who are you, Patrick Bateman?
  2. 2.
    Strong interest in getting married and starting a family
    Supposedly my feelings about this are going to change? In the meantime, this weirds me out. Can anyone write a list about completely changing your mind on these topics?
  3. 3.
    Love of/Participation in sports
    I emotionally shut down around athletic activities.
  4. 4.
    Desire to be in nature/do outdoorsy activities
    Every time I see a photo of a guy on a mountain against a sunset, I know it will never last between us. That amazing feeling that people talk about experiencing when they are out in nature--I have no idea how to genuinely, consistently feel that way as an involuntary reaction.
  5. 5.
    Huge "You Know What"
    I don't know who started this rumor, but I'm not sure I've EVER met a woman who is actually into this. I feel like most people are looking for the "Goldilocks": not too big, not too small, just right.
  6. 6.
    Pet owners
    There's nothing creepier than a grown man talking in a baby voice to his female dog about "what a good girl" she is. How has society deemed this acceptable?! I also can't handle non-human living things seeing me naked/performing sexual acts. I recognize how insane this makes me sound. A guy I dated recently told me that my apprehension concerning pets is one of my major drawbacks as a potential romantic partner.
  7. 7.
    Plant owners
    There's having plants and then there's having PLANTS. Too many plants makes me feel like I am drowning in dirt and the plants are going to attack me in my sleep. Haven't you seen Jumanji/Evil Dead/Little Shop of Horrors? Remember what I said about non-human living things watching you in your private moments? Not for me.
  8. 8.
    Motorcycles/Sports Cars/Skateboards/Etc.
    Any "bad boy" transportation. I am just coming around on guys who ride bikes.
  9. 9.
    Likes going to the beach
    I have lived in LA for 3 years and have never gone to the beach. I think the last time I went to the beach was like 7 or 8 years ago?
  10. 10.
    (Despite having these feelings, I have dated all these people)