MORNING ROUTINE

At the moment...
  1. Wake up at approximately 7:35am
  2. Check email/social media from bed
    Worry about the detrimental effect this habit has on my neural pathways
  3. B12 and Evening Primrose Oil
  4. Put more tap water into intense water filter
    Because parents have deemed Brita ineffective and obsolete
  5. Bulletproof coffee
  6. Begin watching Hulu
    Hopefully there is a new Shark Tank!
  7. Get interrupted by incoming FaceTime with one or both parents
    Take many screenshots of them looking like li'l QTs
  8. Green Juice
  9. Water with collagen hydrolysate powder
  10. If applicable, text @katmills, @allisonw, and @lindsaygelfand about latest update on current love interest, a desperate need for breakfast tacos, or which coffee shop I'm working at
  11. Put SPF 70 on upper body
    Figure the sun is not gonna fuck with me from the waist down
  12. Ideally, leave no later than 9:30am for coffee shop, write until brain short-circuits
  13. Return home, put pajamas back on, take hardcore nap
  14. Awake completely disoriented