That you will live through
  1. You will develop intense, full-body, keeps-you-up-at-night feelings for the least appropriate person to have a crush on
  2. You will have a social faux pas that will make you dread all future events taking place outside your apartment door
  3. You will drop the ball at work and beat yourself up about it for far too long
  4. You will almost get into a car accident because you got bored and were checking Instagram
  5. You will experience the passive-aggressive panic of splitting a check with more than 5 people
  6. You will feel like an imposter
  7. You will, against all rationale, lose your shit over a text message
    Or lack thereof
  8. You will take out your anger on a person undeserving of your rage
  9. You will introduce yourself to someone you've already met
  10. Someone you've already met MANY times will introduce themselves to you
  11. You will briefly worship someone who is mistreating you and disregarding your feelings
  12. You will briefly mistreat someone who worships you
  13. You will feel the white-hot vulnerability of following/friending/favoriting/retweeting someone too soon
  14. You will burn your tongue on your coffee
  15. You will tell a joke that NO ONE laughs at. You will feel like you're drowning in the subsequent silence
  16. You will sleep with someone who doesn't get you at all
    And it won't even be that good
  17. You will be a terrible listener to someone you deeply care about
  18. You will have to cope with the one show you were getting quite invested in being canceled
  19. You will have to say goodbye to someone you love
  20. You will meet the perfect person at the wrong time