1. Cry
    First and foremost. Most things either gain or lose gravity after you've cried about them.
  2. Write everything down
    Don't think about how it sounds or if it's grammatically correct. Stream of consciousness that shit. Again, it'll either add to or alleviate the intensity of the situation.
  3. Watch the breakfast machine clip from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
    Inject some pure joy and childlike wonder into your crying session for 4 minutes http://bit.ly/1IvTfhW
  4. Go for a walk
    It's easy to be upset inside. Even being upset outside is better because you might see a cute dog or something.
  5. Cry again
    It matters. Whatever you're sad about matters. It's okay.
  6. Think about the fact that Shaq got his PhD in business
    The world is amazing!
  7. Text an old friend
    They'll be happy to hear from you and won't need to know about what's making you unhappy, unless you want them to. Then they'll be all ears.