POSSIBLE REASONS HE HASN'T TEXTED YOU
We all forget to turn off airplane mode, right? Requested by my sister in angst @audrey
- •He finally got around to reading The Harry Potter series and hasn't looked at a screen of any kind or spoken to another human since the second chapter of Chamber of Secrets
- •His cat puked on his phoneMaking it possible to like other people's Instagram photos but impossible to respond to texts
- •He saw a really hot girl walk by after walking you home and was like "that's the only girl I'll ever text from this point on"
- •He just straight up died
- •He developed super sonic hearing abilities and heard you make a joke about how you wanted him to get you pregnant and he freaked. It was a joke!
- •He's been too preoccupied developing an articulate opinion on Caitlyn Jenner
- •He's just too confused by his immense feelings for you
- •He's not confused, he's 100% unabashedly disgusted by you
- •He fell into the well from The RingIt gets really bad service
- •Saw you the morning after on a hot day, no makeup, one contact gone, incredibly sweaty.
- •He's an ass!
- •You talked too much about loving VinesEven though you acknowledged it as a GUILTY PLEASURE
- •Seeing you cry because you put something you thought was contact solution but was actually eye poison in your eye was a visual too disturbing to shake
- •He forgot about you! Straight up.
- •He got back together with his ex-girlfriendYou can't blame him. She's the more penetrable version of you- her nose is the same shape but smaller, her eyes slightly further apart, her lips 30% bigger. Heck, YOU want to make out with her.
- •You guys had sex too many times last time you hung out and now he's too tired to ever see you again
- •The mystery continues
- •He met his soulmate