THE SATURDAY BLUES

I feel very sad. MAYBE THIS LIST OF THINGS CAUSING THE SADNESS WILL HELP!
  1. I'm working a show right now for a woman losing her battle with cancer
    I'm alone in the theater lobby staring at a poster that says "this is a celebration of life!" I've seen this phrase too many times this last year and it's hard to be here.
  2. The need for male validation continues
    ...and the guilt for feeling sadness over a BOY liking other people's INSTAGRAMS when you're working an event for someone dying of cancer.
  3. The fear of rejection continues
    An extension of above. Trying to be ""cool"" and return home with 0 expectations but it's hard and I'm scared.
  4. More guilt
    Seriously who gives a fuck if some dude you used to have sex with has moved on? You're STILL ALIVE AND ABLE
  5. My family
    I'm worried for my brother. He's very smart and very sensitive and those are difficult traits to have when you're a 15 year old boy.
  6. Boogie Nights is playing in my hometown a week before I get back
    Shoot!
  7. My mom is at a movie so I can't call her about all this
    :(