THINGS I THINK I WILL DO (BUT PROBABLY WON'T DO) WHEN I MOVE TO LA IN A FEW WEEKS

I am moving for a job and I will have very few friends and very high expectations
  1. See a Franco full frontal in person
    Fingers crossed it's Grandma Mitzie
  2. Immediately accrue a group of friends who will be fully on board with acting out scenes from Swingers
  3. Hug Turtle from Entourage
  4. Gain street smarts
  5. Not be scared
  6. Have a fantastic apartment in Silverlake with a cute, non threatening neighbor and a washer and dryer in house
    Still haven't found a roof to live under. I move in three weeks. I'm relying too much on my "everything always works out!" belief system right now
  7. Meet John Belushi's ghost at the Chateau, befriend him, write a script about our "will they or won't they/how can they, he's a ghost" friendship
  8. Learn to love the beach
  9. Override my Irish ancestry and suddenly develop a bronze complexion that would make a Hawaiian Tropic model kill themselves