THINGS THAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT THAT I'M ASHAMED OF

Any party that has a mix of family and friends never ends well.
  1. Accidentally twerked on a family table
    It wasn't like a serious twerk but anaconda was playing and I was feelin myself
  2. Knocked children over
    They're just so small and trying to avoid walking into fully grown people is a serious task for me when drunk
  3. Chugged a whole bottle of wine
    There's no excuses for this one. It is what it is, let's move on.
  4. Attempted to do a speech after the point above
    I was waving the cake cutting knife around violently, apparently.
  5. Danced to 80's music
    Pretended I knew how to twist aswell
  6. Fell over and sprained my foot
    While attempting to do the twist
  7. Smacked my head off the marble floor
    I really cannot do the twist.
  8. Left my phone unattended