1. Criticism is generally more useful than praise.
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    Even though praise is way more satisfying and I love positive affirmation more than I love avocados
  2. Look both ways before you cross the street.
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    Hint: the street is a metaphor!! Call up John Green!!
  3. Elastic waist jeans aren't trendy.
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    Even if they have rhinestones.
  4. You don't always have to pay for the T, you can just run through behind somebody.
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  5. People don't think about you as much as you think they do.
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    And true, they might be talking shit, but it's probably not a whole shit talk monologue, more like a shit talk aside.
  6. LinkedIn is an underrated tool.
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  7. The Olive Garden is not the utopia its commercials make it appear.
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  8. Use Spotify strategically.
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    Nicki Minaj to pump up, Justin Bieber to calm down.
  9. 3 drinks probably isn't enough, but 5 is probably too many.
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  10. You can pretend to be passionate about anything.
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    "I'm really excited to learn more about your bio molecular organism lab and what your PR position entails."
  11. You can never be too careful when it comes to other people.
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    The ones you trust might surprise you.
  12. But the friends who you could hypothetically perform a successful trust fall with are invaluable.
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    Emphasis on hypothetical. I couldn't even do a trust fall if a seven foot body builder was catching me.
  13. Be someone parents like.
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    They're the ones with those hot connects.
  14. Dancing doesn't get easier.
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    In fact, it gets harder. In junior high it was jumping up and down, which was definitely hard, but now you're supposed to gyrate in a way that looks both natural and sexy.
  15. We can't change the past, and the future is unknown.
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    One of the "teachers" on my meditation app said this, and it helps me counteract my dreading/dwelling cycle.
  16. It's okay to advocate for yourself.
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    Academically and professionally. No one else is going to do it for you.
  17. Have a mental picture of your goals that you can bring to mind when the going gets tough.
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    Mine is me tossing the keys to my Audi to the valet on my way into the swankiest hotel bar in Los Angeles. Am I meeting up with my bestie KKW? Maybe.
  18. Blue eye shadow is a no.
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    So is blue eyeliner. Just don't put blue on your face.
  19. Have a plan B. And C, D, and E.
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    Being a child actor might not work out. But being a momager could.
  20. If need be, pay extra for guac.
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