SIMPLE THINGS I CAN'T DO

These are just a few of many.
  1. Winged eyeliner
    I just use dark eyeshadow and smudge it around.
  2. Dance, even a little bit
    I spent all of Prom "fixing my lipstick" in the bathroom.
  3. Basic math
    My calculator is my friend.
  4. Park my car
    It's embarrassing.
  5. Wrap a present
    Merry Christmas.
  6. Cook
    I'm limited to pasta, grilled cheese, and fried eggs
  7. Push-ups
    Maybe one if I'm lucky.
  8. Take a good selfie
    Kim would not approve.