COMMON QUESTIONS I HAVE WHILE READING YA DYSTOPIAN

I love dystopia but I have some pressing questions.
  1. What happened to Internet? Did it get destroyed? How did it get destroyed? Is there a secret Google HQ hidden underground? Where are the comment trolls? How do they troll?
  2. How is everyone so pretty all the time? Does hair not frizz in the dystopian near future? And should we call it dystopia if hair doesn't frizz anymore?
  3. What's with all the love triangles? Why doesn't someone go "I have bigger things to worry about then glaring at a rival suitor for six chapters. There's nuclear war/mass hunger/teens killing teens on TV..."
  4. Why are all these teens starting revolutions? Their frontal lob isn't even fully developed yet.
  5. Is having an off kilter name normal in the near and dystopian future?