LAST MINUTE CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR ME

  1. The ashes of a dead president
  2. Season five of Mythbusters
  3. An actual Martian
  4. 100,000 dollars, stacked, in a brief case, left in a parking garage next to a Chipotle
  5. Peanut Butter
  6. A gift card specially for my student loans
  7. One of Meryl Streep's Oscars
  8. A magazine about dentistry