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  1. The bride is pregnant.
    I causally pointed out that she wasn't drinking. The table beside me overheard and it spread like wildfire.
  2. Half the people here are pregnant.
    I guess I just notice when people aren't drinking. There is nothing wrong with that but I know that a lot of the people here usually do.
  3. I really need to just keep my mouth shut. I'm a terrible person 😜
  1. I am more than willing to jump into a strangers car for a ride!
    Wow as I type this out I realize how bad this is...
  2. Oh hey stranger! After party at your place? Yup sounds good to me!
    Always confused when my friends don't want to go. I swear I'm going to get murdered...
  3. When I was in Bangkok I wandered around the market by myself.
    I didn't feel unsafe for a second. Everyone was telling me that it's the most dangerous part of the city but I don't believe them.
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A small part of my job is grooming dogs. I honestly hate doing it. It's super stressful and I always feel sick to my stomach with worry that they are going to hate it. But I'm way too nice and always get suckered into it. 😒
  1. "I want him short but not short. "
    Yep I'll get right to that. Reading your mind is my specialty.
  2. When they send me a picture of what they want their dog to look like.
    I'm good but not turn your Doodle into a Dachshund good.
  3. "I want her ears to be even"
    I was planning on making them super uneven and choppy though....
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Thank you so much @becktacular
  1. First of all the gift is not lame at all!!
  2. I really appreciate you realizing a package wouldn't make it in time.
    I hate waiting for things and I would have been obsessively checking my mail.
  3. An Amazon gift card is perfect!
    The possibilities are endless... 🙃🙂🙃
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  1. These guys
  2. This guy
  3. This guy
    Really blurry but he is really tiny and hard to get a picture of
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  1. Oh another wedding story!
    We have been talking about weddings for 3 hours
  2. No no I don't think the toonie bar was a bad idea...
  3. Yeah your wedding was definitely better than that guys...
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  1. Every morning on my way to work I buy a coffee from you.
  2. You have been there for every early morning, every road trip and every coffee date.
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  1. Tell me I am just being emotional.
  2. Make me apologize for my opinion.
  3. Make me question who I am.
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I do love my mom. She usually isn't this horrible. I don't know what has gotten into her lately 😒
  1. You really think those pants are going to fit you??
    Yeah mom.. The same size I always buy.
  2. Don't worry, your sister got the looks but you got the smarts!
    Can't I have the smarts and the looks?
  3. So... Gym membership for Christmas?
    Sure but I'm never going to use it 😝 unless yoga is included... I loves me some yoga 😊
  4. Maybe you shouldn't have seconds..
    Yeah mom I really shouldn't have some more lentil stuffed acorn squash that I made you. That just might put me over the edge...
So this actually took the entire day to come up with. Not sure how surprising they are but hey, I'm probably not the best judge of that! Thanks for the request @aconthe47
  1. I am extremely outdoorsy
    I actually have a lot of backwoods experience and would have no problem being ditched in the middle of the forest. In the summer I try and spend most of my time there 😊
  2. I despise Apple juice and bananas
  3. I am absolutely petrified of whales
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