5 REASONS I TELL PEOPLE I'M SINGLE VS 5 ACTUAL REASONS

This one feels weird publishing, but it was oddly therapeutic to write. And whatever, you guys don't really know me anyway. If I had a nickel for every time someone said they wanted to find me a boyfriend I'd... Well I'd have like a quarter at least.
  1. "I don't have the time, too busy with school"
    Bitch, you found the time to watch every episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Not true.
  2. "I've just not met anyone I like"
    You probably have and just didn't do anything about it, suffering internally instead and then feeling cheated when nothing came of it. Smart, that one. Incorrect.
  3. "I just have high standards"
    False. A guy at the airport said something nice and smiled at you and you thought about it for hours.
  4. "I'm not interested in a relationship"
    Literally every guy you've met ever has been the subject of an elaborate romantic comedy day dream. Untrue.
  5. "I like the single life"
    You spend 70% of nights out shimmying away from men, and the last thing even remotely close to action you had was when that random guy who asked you to get in his snapchat touched your hip. Blatantly false.
  6. —————
  7. I'm scared of men.
    Obviously not all men. But I have a hard time trusting them. I've had too many men give me reasons why I should never trust them around myself or any women. Sad, but true.
  8. I'm deeply insecure about my looks
    Maybe you think I'm all right in the dark, with my hair done, 45 minutes worth of makeup on my face, and with a strategic outfit after 4 beers, but what about otherwise?
  9. I'm too emotionally guarded and attached at the same time
    I fear abandonment, deeply. The thought that I would let someone see every little thing about me and they would leave me is devastating. I don't let people get close to me because then they can't hurt me. It's clearly not working out.
  10. I overthink absolutely everything
    I feel like most social interactions with people I'm not close with are performance. Like, I have to succeed in making them like me. I can't relax. I mourn what maybe could have been but never was. I never made a move but still felt betrayed when I saw you with someone else.
  11. I wouldn't date me
    I wouldn't choose me, so it would feel arrogant to expect anyone else to. If I know myself better than anyone else does, and I don't even really like myself, what does that say?