MY DAD'S EX-GIRLFRIENDS, RANKED

The women who either parented me or at least tried to bribe me for acceptance. (Is this weird? Maybe)
  1. 5.
    The Norwegian one
    I couldn't spell her name even if I tried. More interested in her nails than me I feel like. Had kids my age to play with though (even though I puked all over one of them in the car after the zoo).
  2. 4.
    Camilla
    We listened to a lot of audio books in the car and she always had really great Disney themed lollipops. She was alright.
  3. 3.
    Tina
    We always had fun, and her sons meant I basically had step brothers every other week for a few years. I think she cheated which sucks but I got to use her 30% H&M employee discount which was cool
  4. 2.
    Susanne
    Artist. Brought treats and tea when I was sick. Whenever she was around we always had more food in the house, we'd eat asparagus and Moroccan lamb instead of meatballs. Really chill. Rip Susanne it was good while it lasted.
  5. 1.
    Mom
    Cons: Nags on me for getting cereal crumbs on the floor. Pros: birthed me, supported me throughout life, generous with time and love and everything else, an actual angel. Overall A+ would recommend