THINGS OF MINE PEOPLE QUESTION IF THEY'RE REAL

That title does not sound grammatically correct but whatever, "realness" just looked worse. Kevin Gates would be proud of me (I say really really).
  1. My hair
    Yes it's long (top of butt long), yes there's a lot of it, no you don't have to grab it and smell it (the last one was only one weirdo thankfully).
  2. My nails
    Not acrylics. I'm just fussy about them and haven't done manual labor a day in my life. Get that OPI Nail Envy, son.
  3. My sneeze
    You know when Goofy falls off a cliff in the alps in the really old cartoons and semi-yodels on the way down? A short version of that is the best way I can describe it.
  4. My boobs
    Only ever guys 🙄
  5. My laugh
    Snorts happen. That's just life sometimes.
  6. My accent
    I have a vague something of an accent but I speak American English as opposed to British, and people in England are always confused. Also, how can anything really be my "real" accent if this isn't my native language.
  7. Nothing phony don't hate on me, what you get is what you see 😎