inadvertent mets slant, but KC is just not that interesting. I want Cain to be really fast? Escobar to make great plays? there's no humor, no light, no study of the human condition, no colorful characters, just really good baseball that I'm not bitter about at all and definitely totally love having in the AL Central as a CLE fan
  1. Bartolo Colon: walk-off home run
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  2. Bartolo Colon: base-stealing threat
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  3. To be clear, as much Bartolo Colon in as many ways as possible
    Our days with this national treasure are numbered, and one day we will tell our children that a pitcher who looked like Bartolo existed, and they will not believe us.
  4. More Pete Rose showing up unexpectedly
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    Not in the studio, we already had that. On the field. Just pop up out of nowhere, as part of a personal crusade to end sabermetrics, and go ham, Pete. Frank Thomas will look on in astonishment.
  5. Daniel Murphy literally becomes a god
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    Just wakes up one morning and it's official, he's Thor (I'd especially like this one if he is signed for way more than he's worth this winter and wakes up as Daniel Murphy again the next day.) (Would also especially like this one because it means I can watch Thor play baseball.)
  6. KC gets rid of rotation, only uses bullpen
    I'm in, Cueto's probably in, let's try it.
  7. Cespedes family barbecue
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    Mets win, and we get the long-awaited sequel to the Best Video Ever with a celebratory Cespedes Family Barbecue. Mets lose, and we get the long-awaited sequel with a consolatory Cespedes Family Barbecue. (Either way, guys behind the CFBBQ Twitter/podcast are invited)