The best history (you've probably never heard)

  1. So this all starts in 1893.
  2. There was a gold and silver crisis which pretty much began a recession.
  3. This smushed looking man, Jacob Coxey, decided he knew what to do to fix the economy.
  4. His plan was basically a forerunner of FDR's New Deal. He wanted the jobless to be put to work by the government building roads.
  5. Jacob Coxey might have been the man with the plan but it wasn't until this dude, Carl Browne, showed up that things really got going.
  6. Carl Browne believed he was the half reincarnation of Jesus.
  7. Half.
  8. And he told Jacob Coxey that he was the partial reincarnation of Andrew Jackson.
  9. They decided to march to Washington DC from Ohio.
  10. The idea was for Coxey to read his plan on the steps of the Capital.
  11. A massive amount of (mostly unemployed) people followed him, many from Ohio, but people from across the US formed their own groups to meet up and follow.
  12. So they left, but not before Coxey named his newborn son LEGAL TENDER.
    I fuck you not.
  13. Coxey also had a 17 yo daughter from another marriage who came.
  14. She spent the whole time flirting with Carl Browne (gross he was old).
  15. Somewhere along the way some dude, with no name other than "The Unknown One" tried to take over from Carl Browne.
  16. But Coxey and Carl were tight, so it didn't fly.
  17. So they get to DC.
  18. Coxey's daughter is dressed like a lady of Liberty.
  19. This rag tag "army" from all over the country has come to hear Coxey.
  20. Turns out it's illegal to read a petition from the Capital without the VP's permission.
  21. The police stop Coxey.
  22. He marched all that way and never got to read his plan.
  23. Carl Browne married Coxey's daughter a year later.
  24. Coxey wasn't happy.
  25. In 1944 FDR invited Coxey back to the capital, and he was finally able to read his petition.