Camping - A How-To Guide

Camping can be tricky if you don't have the correct gear and the right attitude. Follow the below guidelines in order to ensure success.
  1. Tent
    This is a crucial step in camping and must be performed if you want shelter. Why not BE your very own tent in this stunning jacket/tent. Take the guesswork out of camping by eliminating the age old question "did I bring the tent?" Oh wait, I AM the tent!
  2. Beard of Bees
    This step will make or break your camping experience. What better way to avoid getting bitten by unwanted bugs than inviting them into your camp and your face. Slather on your favourite nectar and watch the majesty unfold.
  3. Pets
    Bringing man's best friend camping can bring such joy, but have you ever thought "my dog won't be able to have enough constriction around his ribs if he goes camping!" Fear not friends, your lucky pup pal can enjoy that crushing feeling while in the great outdoors with this fun contraption.
  4. Beard of Bees, cont.
    This is an optional, albeit advance, step for you bee beard (BBs) aficionados. Why have a simple beard of bees when you could also include a flat top. Your gang of facial bees will ensure other bully bugs will leave you in peace.
  5. Sleeping Bag
    Do you have an impending divorce that is not going to plan? Have you made some bad investments and now must protect your knee caps? This sleeping bag is for you! You have escaped to the woods to live out your days as a mountain man but you must always be prepared, even when you are sleeping. Use this specially designed sleeping bag to outrun your enemies while maintaining your fashionable appearance.
  6. Beard of Bees, cont.
    Try the Original Beard of Bees; no longer just for the bravest of men.
  7. Pets, cont.
    This discrete beauty can house your beloved feline or small rodent. Camping is a hotbed of salacious behaviour and you want to put your sexiest self forward. You have probably already tried bulkier kangaroo carriers in the past and felt they hid your inner beauty while projecting a "crazy cat woman" vibe. No more my friend! Let your inner succubus shine while maintaining the necessary close proximity to your feline BFF.
  8. Beard of Bees, Expert Level
    Take your beard of bees to the extreme with this whole body experience. Always wanted to wear bee underwear but have always been too shy to ask? Now is your time to shine! It is extremely important to remember to keep your bellybutton and upper thighs clear of any bees. This will maintain your sexy appearance while making you look tall and lean.