A Contradiction About Me

This one is dark, but it's a good contradiction, I think.
  1. I don't believe in the death penalty.
    I am a hardcore pacifist.
  2. But last April or May, an acquaintance of mine's brother and father were shot dead in their home.
    They were shot multiple times. In cold blood.
  3. They caught the suspects like 2 or 3 days later.
    They were just driving around (in a stolen car) and looking for a house to rob. I think all they wound up taking was some money and credit cards from a purse.
  4. When I found out the horrific details of this crime, I wanted nothing more than for the two suspects to be put to death once they were found guilty.
  5. Honestly, I'm ashamed that I felt this way.
    I don't really want them to be put death. But the anger I had in my heart towards these two people was/is very real. They ripped apart a close family for a little money.
  6. Like I said, I don't want them to die.
    But in the dark, angry moments, I have to force myself not to want it.