MEDICAL PROCEDURES I WOULD RATHER UNDERGO THAN WATCH "PIXELS"
- •EndoscopyAlmost certain a live broadcast, verité documentary about my small intestine'd be more compelling cinema.
- •Gender reassignmentI don't feel trapped in my body, but I bet I would if I was forced to sit and watch "Pixels."
- •TrepanningWould take less time, have the same effect on my body.
- •Gratuitous tonsillectomyI've already have them removed. Don't care. Would go through the motions again.
- •Fecal transplantThis is if you suffer from C-Diff and need the good bacteria that live in poo (but you have C-Diff so your body isn't making any), so you get someone else's poo squished into your butthole. (Kind of like what Sandler's trying to do inside your skull.)
- •Having my eyes replaced with a loose assemblage of my toenailsThis wouldn't resolve any condition that I know of beyond rendering me incapable of watching "Pixels."