THINGS ABOUT THE GLENDALE AMERICANA MALL THAT ARE ALREADY DRIVING ME CRAZY AFTER TEN MINUTES HERE

  1. We are in a drought, yet this enormous fountain is dancing to Michael Jackson.
  2. Did I walk this slow when I was a teenager?
  3. Did I also travel in a shoulder-to-shoulder wall with eight of my friends when I was a teenager?
  4. That woman's shirt says "Sorry Not Sorry" and that is actually a thing that warrants an apology
  5. Why don't these teenagers think I'm cool?! Is it the fact I'm wearing a Disneyland shirt and I'm an adult man?