It was a rough week for joke writing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  1. Google Facts tweeted that Free Willy died a year after being released into the wild. Or as Socrates would say, Freest Willy.
  2. The first non-nude issue of Playboy is themed after Snapchat. In other words, became irrelevant in under five seconds.
  3. It was a big week for Beyoncé, who released a new song, announced a world tour, and headlined at a convention for domestic abusers.
  4. Jeb Bush received a standing ovation for calling Donald Trump a “loser.” Which felt redemptive, but seemed a little like the pot calling the kettle orange.
  5. Mattel recently released a diverse set of Barbies. Their success spurred the release of a new Ken doll prototype: Dad-bod Ken.
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  6. Everyone gathered around on Sunday to enjoy the Super Bowl. However, after consuming 5 pounds of cheese dip and guacamole, I was also experiencing a Super Bowl on Monday.
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  7. Sarah Palin claimed Donald Trump “dreads getting caught showing generosity and compassion.” So, there you have it. Trump wants to build a wall so that Mexicans don't see how generous he's being toward them.
  8. PornHub announced the launch of their charitable program. It's a great idea, but accountants are worried it will make tax season sticky.