1. Today is #NationalDonutDay, prompting Americans to fill the hole in their heart with the hole from a donut.
  2. Today is #NationalDonutDay. Americans are encouraged to wear sprinkles to show their support.
  3. Today is #NationalDonutDay. In unrelated news, death rates among unarmed black men is at an all time low.
  4. Today is #NationalDonutDay. Subsequently, tomorrow is #NationalPutYourPenisIntoAStaleDonutDay.
  5. Today is #NationalDonutDay. Or as I like to call it, #EmbracingDiabetesDay.