REAL THINGS THAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ME TODAY

  1. An armed gunman was in my backyard while both my roommates were working from home. What?!
  2. I was rear ended while at a complete stop by a dumb dumb man in a Porsche.
    It was his parents' car. 😐 Of course.
  3. One of my favorite websites, Bustle, picked up an article of mine.
    YAY. Why women should stop apologizing all the time. Read it here: http://bit.ly/1MBQw3O
  4. One of my lists started trending.
    This may have been the best part of today.
  5. Autocorrect changed "may have" to Mashable. We really are living in the modern age.
  6. I survived all of the above and completed my @ucbcomedy improv 101 class.
  7. I ordered guacamole on my burrito because my not really near death incidents reminded me that life is short and guac is worth it.
  8. I fell in love with my podcast wife @emilyannlosey all over again.